You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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