Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
