I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
