Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize