she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
