So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Randomize
