I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Randomize
