Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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