Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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