The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize