i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize