I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
