Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
The Olympian is in my bed
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
