I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
