You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
