he wants to bone in the snuggie
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize