I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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