You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
