You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
