Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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