I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
