I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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