i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
