I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Randomize
