We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
