btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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