gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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