She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize