This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
