I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
