There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Randomize
