So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
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