He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
