So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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