I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
