Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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