So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
