oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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