He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize