I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
