the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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