everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
