I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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