Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
