so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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