okay pat passed out under dana's car
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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