I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
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