i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I stole a fireplace last night.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
