you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
