Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
