A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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