He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Randomize