it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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