you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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