Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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