i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize