I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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