long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
