I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Life is so much better after having sex.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
