when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
